It’s A Man’s World; Teenage Girl Living Life An Octave Below The Norm; Learn To Laugh At Yourself, Accept Who You Are

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Montana Mooney, Reporter

“Montana, why do you sound so manly?”
Thanks Alexa.
I’d like to clarify a few things before I begin this article. One, contrary to popular belief, I am 100 percent female. Two, I do not have an Adam’s apple. Three, I do not plan on either of the above changing anytime soon.
When I was a child, my first word was “Momma.” Most parents react with excitement, right? Yeah, mine didn’t. I mean, who wants to hear their baby girl speaking like Morgan Freeman? But it was okay, I didn’t talk that often anyway.
I was kind of a shy kid, and my awkward manly voice was easily overlooked when my adorable, blonde, bubbly sister, Montgomery, came into the world in October of 1996. Not only was she precious, but her voice was girly, and eventually we realized she could sing and dance very well. We had our differences.
I continued to grow up without really being teased about my voice, except when my mother would call me Mantana behind my back, and now to my face, of course. But in sixth grade I became involved in choir because all of my friends were.
I enjoyed it for the most part, but I can’t honestly remember anything besides mouthing the words. I knew I was a bad singer, and I was okay with it. I was an alto for obvious reasons. I noticed one day that my teacher had strategically placed me really close to the boys, and when it came time to audition for honor choir, somehow I was mysteriously not accepted into any choir at all. This began my realization, I had a man voice.
No one really brought attention to my voice until high school. I’m not the kind of person to be offended easily, but sometimes the jokes were upsetting. The past year or so, I began joking along and haven’t been bothered since. I realized it was all just for fun. If my voice makes people laugh, what’s the problem?
My own cousin created a Facebook page titled “We who love Mantana Mandison Manney and her man voice”. It has 26 members, including myself. At least they love me, right?
I have only had someone call me Mantana in an attempt to belittle me or hurt my feelings one time. Considering her voice is deeper than mine is, and again, I’m not easily offended, I laughed about it. I still do.
My mom told me once that I could probably make a really good singer if I sang like Johnny Cash. That’s not exactly as reassuring as my granny never failing to remind me that I “have a beautiful voice just like so many women in Hollywood”. I don’t agree with most of that, but if Demi Moore, Miley Cyrus, and my favorite person ever, Emma Stone, can pull it off, I guess I can too.
We’re all a little weird, and we all have strange aspects about ourselves that we may be embarrassed of. Who cares if you have monkey toes or different sized ears or a really deep voice for a girl? Nobody does. And if there’s someone that does, they have bigger issues to worry about anyway.
I’m not a man, I’m just different. I love my voice, it makes me unique. Oh, and everyone better keep your eye out. I’m auditioning for American Idol. I can belt out ‘I Wouldn’t Be A Man’ better than Josh Turner himself.